Wednesday, September 9, 2009

You know the distance from here to Boston is not merely measured in miles but also in the attitude of the driver – this time it’s taken twice as long! Or at least it feels that way. Two never-ending flights of stairs to reach the apartment I’ve rented and now I’m worried about my Dad. When I rented the apartment I had no idea that he would stay here as well – worried about his heart, he looks way too quiet sitting there on the couch. It’s an amazing shock when you realize you’ve crossed the threshold of worrying about your parents more than they worry about you! And why, in the name of all the Gods, does it have to happen while you are still worrying about your own kids? It must be some sort of perpetual, cosmic, karma payback. I’m reminded of the day I had to fight with my then five year old to get him to clean his room, and by the end of the day calling my mother to apologize for all the times I didn’t clean my room when I was little. She laughed – which made me laugh too.

Looking up from my laptop at my parents sitting there on the couch, my father catching his breath, my mother running her fingers through his hair, I finally get it. You don’t learn how to be a parent when you have kid’s, you learn how to be a parent when you are a kid. You take the good stuff you remember from your childhood and work it into your parenting, and hopefully you take the bad stuff and find a way to overcome it, and not repeat it. I had a wonderful childhood, but I didn’t know that until I grew up and heard what other people went through and what they learned about parenting. Unfortunately this says way too much about the bad parenting I’ve seen in my lifetime. I hope one day my kids will realize just how lucky they are – and hopefully their luck is even better than mine.